The World In My Pocket (Conquest for the Apple iPhone)

I have the world in my pocket and it has saved me from the dark depths of boredom. You see I am at work. My “real” work. Due to the nature of my career I work away from home and away from my Xbox, a sorry state of affairs. Whilst I am currently at my place of work I am outside of working hours, so don’t fret: I am not wasting my employer’s money by blogging in work time. I do, however, find myself at something of a loose end. I have finished reading the book “Monstrous Regiment”, by the outstanding Mr Terry Pratchett, and do not have a new book with me. I will re-supply at the weekend. So it came to be that I was at a loose end until a couple of hours ago.

Whilst searching around mindlessly on my Apple iPhone I discovered a game app that is, in all but name, a digitised version of the timeless board-game Risk. The app is called Conquest and assuming that it’s not impinging on the copyright of the afore mentioned board-game it is an excellent way to while away a few hours with some tactical manoeuvring, strategic thought and the ever present dream of world domination. As I said before, I have the world in my pocket, now if I can just hold on to Asia…

Going mad for Arkham Asylum

Batman is back and, this time, he’s not made of yellow plastic bricks. The world’s no.1 detective returns to the Xbox in a dark and serious mood more akin to the recent Christian Bale incarnation than the camp Adam West version of the 1960s. Arkham Asylum sees you assuming the role of the Caped Crusader in what is, so far, the game of the year. It’s visually stunning with an immersive plot and a format which switches game-play modes just often enough to prevent a feeling of staleness from creeping into the gaming experience. Most of the characters are true to the Batman universe, deep and believable and, as most are psychotic, more than just a little bit scary.

Rocksteady Games have managed to develop a great superhero game that anyone who has ever pulled a towel around their neck and wished they could fly will love. You can use an array of tools to help you negotiate the Asylum and find your way through the puzzles laid before you. The combat takes many forms from stealth to all out 15-on-one melee and when jumping from great heights you can utilise the glide function of your cape. In the stealth take-down sections the gameplay takes on a new level forcing you to think carefully about your moves before launching into your attacks. One of the game’s little gems is suspending a hapless goon upside down below a gargoyle before slicing the rope with a baterang and startling his equally goonish allies below. They obviously know their audience too as Rocksteady’s team have ensured that Poison Ivy bulges in all the right places with just enough leafage to spare her blushes while she seductively chats up the Bat, just before trying to batter him. Those in the know will enjoy the hidden references to other characters unseen in the game and the back-stories, which can be collected to fill out the plot as you progress.

The game does have some flaws however, not least of which are the combat controls. It is possible to win almost any fight by battering the X and Y buttons mercilessly until your fingers bleed, and this detracts a little from the sense of immersion in the game. Players really have to try and make it interesting for themselves by throwing in the odd baterang and batclaw just to spice it up. Without giving too much away the boss fights can be somewhat repetitive and formulaic, although this can be said about a lot of games. With all that aside though, Arkham Asylum is, overall, a shining achievement for Rocksteady and glorious fun to play. Put your pants on outside your trousers, start talking in a gruff voice and settle in for some gratuitous cartoon violence.

THE JOY OF SECS (That’s SECond hand games)

Being an unapologetic gaming snob I do savour being there at the front of the queue when the brandest, newest, spankingest games come out. I enjoy greatly tearing off the cellophane of the latest GTA instalment or Sam Fisher’s newest adventure and cracking open the box for the first time to have my nostrils met by that familiar and intoxicating smell of chemically treated paper from the instruction manuals. The highlight, of course, is slipping that disk into my 360 ready for my latest gaming extravaganza. Yes, there is indeed something pleasurable about the purchase of your newest game that surely cannot be matched by the rather scruffy, underhand practice of buying someone else’s cast-offs from the dreaded “pre-owned” section. Or so I used to think.

Last week, during a weak moment and with very little money to spare, I was browsing in my local gaming retailer’s when I strayed into the pre-owned section. Feeling slightly itchy I started to glance at the odd title that I had missed avoided or simply not had the time to play. With a mere £10 to spare and two days to wait until pay-day a little voice in my head urged me to bite the bullet and pick up a second hand game. At first I was surprised and the perplexed at the seemingly random pricing. Resident Evil 5 was there for a whopping £35. This for a SECOND HAND game, I mean for a few more quid you get a brand new one. But then I was drawn to some older games that were priced much more appealingly. My eye was caught by Lost: Via Domus. Now, a very good friend of mine once said that the only reason he bought this game was for the achievement points (as he is the biggest points whore I know) but, although I do value his opinion when it comes to games, this did not deter me for two reasons; I greatly enjoyed the first two seasons of the TV series (before it got too weird) and it was selling for less that £5.

Now committed to my seedy dive into this second hand world and en route to the cash desk I noticed another title that I had not yet played marked at the same low price of £5. This was The Darkness, a mafia/horror shoot-em up/chew-em up. I remembered seeing it advertised a while back and wanting to give it a shot but, being distracted by the likes of Call of Duty: World at War and Fable 2, I had missed it at its release and never come back. For those of you who might be thinking that there is time to get through all of the 360 titles that hit our shelves on a weekly basis I should point out that I work very long hours and am away from home, and my beloved X-Box, for weeks and months at a time.

So it was that on a pleasant summer’s afternoon I finally succumbed to the draw of the pre-owned world. I am not writing to review the titles, I’ll just go as far as to say they were not great but they were not bad and they helped waste away a few hours and kept me entertained for just ten English pounds…bargain (especially Lost, just for the nostalgia of that first few episodes which held so much promise). I am writing this to let anyone who may care to read it know that I am a changed man. I no longer look down upon the pre-owned section as a poor man’s option, but as an opportunity to revisit some older, and some not-so-older, titles for a lot less than one would pay for brand new. It even lets you play some not-so-good games without that nagging feeling of having wasted your money because, lets be honest, even a cinema ticket costs over £5 and only lasts a couple of hours (and films can be hit or miss too), a second hand game can last for many more and cost less. Undoubtedly I am far behind the curve with my revolutionary discovery but, to those of you who discovered this land of plenty before me, know now that I have arrived and I have set up camp.

Welcome to the Gaming Gentleman

I would like to welcome you to my new blog. I decided to set this up as a platform for some of my writing and as a place for me to record my meandering thoughts and opinions about games, books, movies or whatever floats my boat. I will endeavour to maintain a high standard of gentlemanly behaviour on this blog, or at the very least engage in the kind of high-brow and scandalous shenanigans that our Victorian forefathers would endorse…behind closed doors of course.

To give you an idea of my leanings, my platform of choice is the mighty Xbox 360 and, as you will no doubt discover a few of my favourite games are GTA4, the Splinter Cell series, Fallout 3, Oblivion, Mass Effect and the Call of Duty series. This list is not exhaustive, just a brief idea of my preferences, however I have found fun, excitement and hours of gameplay in almost all genres. Hopefully we’ll be able to explore some of the aspects that make these titles and many others, in my mind, so great.

Take a seat in the comfortable leather chairs, have Hawkins fetch you a nice brandy and please do enjoy my ramblings.

Toodle pip.